San'Shyuum
Prophets are the guys in the Covenant who think they're the best. While Prophets can talk for extended periods of time and think up boring speeches in seconds, they do not possess really any physical power whatsoever. They ride around on flying chairs with huge lasers on them, yet no drink holders. At one point, there were three Prophets who were "Hierarchs." Their names were Truth, Mercy, and Regret (which are funny names because I distinctly remember hearing about a Prophet of Opposites)... They all were raving on about blowing themselves up until Regret was killed from provoking Master Chief, Mercy got infected with Aids, and Truth was killed when his flying chair malfunctioned, ending his life instantly in a large ball of flame. They command all Covenant species to dip into the butter cauldron so sticky grenades don't stick to them they just slide off. They have also been known to send many fluffy monsters on missions to find the Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. Partly to find out about the Halos and also to have a laugh when the bags of fluff are killed. The reason the Prophets are on those damn chairs all the time is because some smart ass Brute thought it would be funny to play a prank on the ballchins by super-gluing them to their chairs. Reproduction The Prophets never get lucky so I am not going to waste my time saying how one would--or could--ever get laid. Besides the Prophet of Haters, who had sex every 5 minutes which he proclaimed was not true, but a horny grunt found footage off the internet and he got kicked out of his Prophet school, and Prophet of Restraint (people call him DA BALLA). Famous Prophets * Adolf Hitler (traitor that joined the Ubers, killed by God) * Allah * Barbara Streisand (died when she sang for Adolf Hitler, he ordered her killed, then went to hell for being a pansy) * Barrack Saddam Hussein Mohammed Obama * Beavis and Butthead * Bill Gates * Charles Montgomery Burns * Chester Cheetah * Christopher Walken * Chuck Norris * Confucius * Dick Cheney * Dingy Harry (Harry Read) * Eric Cartman * Fidel Castro * Gandhi (he never used his chair) * George W. Bush (both of them) * Harry Potter * Homer Simpson * Jerry Seinfield * The Jonas Brothers (motherfucking EVIL) * Mao Zedong * Master Chief's psychiatrist * Mr. Garrison * Oprah * Prophet of Disdain (committed suicide) * Prophet of Haters (Daum! He was hatin' bad!) * Prophet of Lies * Prophet of Mercy * Prophet of Misinterpretation (started the Grunt Rebellion) * Prophet of Objection (he objects being in this list, but no one cares) * Prophet of Obligation * Prophet of Pity * Prophet of Pitying the Fool (Mr. T as a prophet, and above's cousin) * Prophet of Regret * Prophet of Restraint * Prophet of Tolerance * Prophet of Truth * Prophet of Shadunkadunk * Prophet of Whatever * Prophet of N00bz * Rosey O'donnel * Snoop Dog * Stalin * Stephen Harper * Steven Hawking * Susan B. Anthony * The Godfather * The Pope * The Sith Lord from Star Wars (not the gay one) * Zac Efron * Leapold "Butters" Stoch. Honorary for gluing fake balls to his chin. * Papa John * Little Ceaser * Osama bin Laden * Justin Bieber * Meatwad * Lady Gaga * Burger King * KFC * Elmo * Vladimir Putin * MY Dad * Ur Dad * Obama ( He is so f#&@%ng evil!) * Stalin * John McCain * Jay-Z * Robotnik yo mama you